ROYAL HOAX'S True Not-So-Hollywood Stories: FORD EXPLORER ON FIRE!!!

This is the VERY FIRST EDITION of our 'True Not-So-Hollywood Stories'. In this series we will talk to you about the most ridiculous yet real life stories that we have experienced through our long and vast journey as musicians. Today, we bring you the story of the 'FORD EXPLORER ON FIRE'. Yes, his car was literally on fire. Here it is told by the man himself, Elijah 'Fire Bird' Nelson...

"It was Saturday, November 26th, 2011. I was on my way to a show in Romeo (the hometown of Kid Rock) when I started to smell SOMETHING AWEFUL coming from my heating vents. Imagine that Megatron took a huge $h!t, mix it with hair, add in all the toys from Wal-Mart and set them on fire, it was JUST PUTRID.

So I was thinking 'WTF is going on here' when, of course, smoke started to billow out my vents. And this wasn't normal smoke, it felt like TEAR GAS was flowin cause it was burning the hell out of my eyes. Anyways, this is all happening while I was going 70MPH on the freeway. I had one hand on the wheel, my other hand was trying find the window switch, and all the while my girlfriend Sara is SQUEALING LIKE A NATIVE AMERICAN IN THE MIDDLE OF A FIRE DANCE.

So I finally role down my window and that allowed me see a glow coming from my vent. In the heat of the moment I decide to PUNCH THE VENT only to miss by hitting the dashboard instead (I'm still driving at this point and trying to pull the Explorer over).  Agonizing in pain and infuriated at myself I GRAB THE VENT AND TEAR IT OFF like Edward Norton in the Incredible Hulk. Finally, we get the car pulled over so Sara and I get out and start frantically searching for water.  Not able to find it I literally start spitting into the vent. After that somehow failed ;-) I began to contemplate whether I had to DROP TROU and put this fire out the old fashioned way.

Luckily, Sara found a water bottle under the seat (she called 911 thank god) and we were able to control it until the fire department showed up and put it out. At this point its dark outside and I had no headlights since my electrical circuits were fried, so Mark and Jake picked me up.  Mark actually wanted to spend the night inside the Explorer so no one would take our gear until we could drive it home in the morning. But, after talking him out of it for an hour and buying some locks we went home. We had to cancel the show, but my car was STILL PERFECTLY DRIVABLE, and it only cost me $30 to repair! A lot people can't say that their car caught on fire, well I can, and I'M PROUD OF IT DAMMIT!  Yep, I said it... Oh and that is NOT an actual picture of my Explorer :-D"

Views: 916

Comment by Savannah Lee on May 4, 2012 at 8:15am

lmao i was laughing so hard

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